The Red Bead Necklace

Just another snowy Monday morning, thought Ronald Mays as he delivered his lumber to W.B. Mason in his giant Mack truck. He was biting into the freshest Subway sandwich ever, with it’s premium ham, and delicious cheddar cheese. Finally! The text about the new job! He pulled out his iPhone as soon as he heard his special Eminem ringtone Georgia Pacific, the company with all the health benefits. He was very busy reading the text. He was almost done reading when the screech of metal on metal startled him. After he finished reading the depressing text, and savoring every last bite of his Subway sandwich, he exited the truck to see what he had hit.

 

He had slammed the Buzzell’s Prius they innocently commuted to Erl Buzzell’s basketball game. Ronald had slammed the tiny hybrid hard, and it was almost flat. Luckily, the Buzzells had OnStar and fire fighters arrived shortly. They found everyone in the crash was okay. The chief fire fighter, Andy, bravely rushed to the car and ripped open the doors just in time to move the unfortunate family into a nearby ambulance. As they arrived in the hospital, Erl struggled to stay conscious, but he lost the battle. The world went black.

 

Erl woke. He was not in the hospital anymore, he was on soft green grass, and he felt the warm sun on his back. Somewhere in the distance he heard a beeping. Beep, beep, beep. It was as steady as a heartbeat. He stood up and looked around, before him was a person, looking at him curiously. He was tall and slightly tan. He had ginger hair and he was wearing a tuxedo. The man introduced himself.

 

“The name is Damien Cray,” said the stranger, with a slight country accent.

 

“My name is Erl Buzzell” said Erl.

 

Suddenly, a giant dragon flew over head.

“Did you see that?” Erl asked his new acquaintance with surprise.

 

“What, the dragon,” asked Damien with a bored expression, “Yeah, I see them all the time. You know you could be strong and healthy like a dragon if you find The Necklace.”

 

“No, not the dragon, that Subway sandwich he was holding,” Erl corrected him. “It looked delicious, I could see the ham from here.”

 

“No, I missed it,” replied Damien, disappointed. There was a long pause.

 

“Wait, what about becoming a dragon with a red bread necklace?” asked Erl.

 

“You never heard of The Red Bead Necklace?” asked Damien. “Everyone knows if you have The Necklace you will be accepted into the order of the dragons. Rumor has it, the hollow beads are filled with the purest air ever. It would probably help you a lot, do you want to look for it? I hear it is just on the other side of the Uncrossable River.” Well, of course he wanted to help find The Necklace and become a dragon.

 

Without considering the name of the river, they set off to the Uncrossable. It was so wide you could not see the other side. “Here we are, the great Uncrossable River,” said Damien.

 

“So, how do you suggest we cross it?” asked Erl.

 

“Well, I thought you might have a good idea,” replied Damien.

 

“You brought me to a giant river with no idea how to reach the other side?” Asked Erl, feeling exasperated.

 

“Sort of,” Damien replied sheepishly. It was too late for either of them to do anything until the next day, and they went to sleep under a giant Subway tree. They tried to cross the river for three days, and on that third night, as Erl felt more discouraged than ever before, he had a dream.

 

The first thing he noticed was pain, it seemed more real than he had felt since he woke up on that soft, mattressish grass. He was in a blindingly white room. He heard a loud beeping noise coming from somewhere beside him, it reminded him of the noise he sometimes heard when he was awake, but it was louder, closer. He was laying in a clean white bed. There was a man leaning over him in a long white coat. “We found you a match,” said the man. He put down his Subway five dollar foot long, and carefully hung a necklace next to the bed Erl was in. No, not a necklace, The Necklace.

 

Erl woke up abruptly. He felt it’s cold beads pressing on his neck. He had found The Necklace. He shook Damien awake and showed it to him. At first Damien did not know what he was looking at, but soon he realized what it was, and he was delighted. “Awesome! Where did you find it?” He asked. After Erl described his dream, Damien remarked, “That’s odd, but at least we have it! Our problems will be cured! We will be big, strong dragons in no time.”

 

Just as they were about to reach the land of the dragons they came across another river. “This wasn’t supposed to be here, but the left Lueng barriers that stop the water from spilling in here broke after a ship named the Seventh Ribber hit them,” Damien informed him, “we could fix it if we carefully repair the broken barrier, and build a canal to let the water out, but it would be a dangerous procedure. We are out of time and options, we must try.”

 

They worked carefully to repair the fallen barrier and soon there was no water flow. “All this work makes me tired,” wheezed Erl. They slept the rest of the day and started the next morning digging the canal to the ocean to let the water leave Lueng Valley.Two days later, they finally reached the ocean and drained the water. Then they began refilling the canal with dirt. Once the Lueng Valley was fixed, Erl could breathe easier.

 

They arrived at the Palace of the Dragons and showed the head dragon, Jake Jacobson, The Red Bead Necklace. Jake put down his Subway melt, smiled contemptuously, and took The Necklace. “Nice try,” he jeered, “but you were not fast enough.”

 

For the final time, Erl Buzzell’s world went black.

 

 

 

P.S. For those of you who missed it, this is a giant metaphor. Erl was in a coma, the Necklace is the type of blood he needs to be cured, and the Seventh Ribber is his seventh (left) rib, which punctured his lung. After they fixed the lung he should have become a dragon which means being healthy, but he was too slow.


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